Finding Your People: Friendship, Loneliness & Community on the RV Life Road

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Well, today's episode is about friendship on the road. Despite our few glitches yesterday, we're still producing it because that's what we do. We pivot and move and step, right? So I'm sitting here trying to figure out where to put my notes and you know, super distracted. Anyway, but today I'm gonna actually share with you something that you only like I shared with Tasha just a tidbit of my brain yesterday, in which she got to react in real life. But I've actually like outlined what I think it could look like, and I'm gonna share that with you online today in real time so you can actually react to it. But welcome back to Learn to RV the podcast. I'm your host, Jennifer Scalachi, and this is my co-host, Tasha Martin. I said that right. I almost said Jennifer Martin and Tasha Scalaci. Sometimes I feel like our brains are.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Have you ever had a dale that it feels like you know, uh you said Riverside was glitching yesterday, and I was like, that was only yesterday? Like that's it's been a week, it's been a long week. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Yes, it has. Well, welcome back to the campfire. So, you know, I I had a great conversation with Joni yesterday, and I'm so excited that you get to listen to it behind the scenes. If have you listened to it yet? I have not. Okay. Um, so I'm excited to have you listen to it. But today we're going somewhere good. Hard, but good. But like all good conversations are like that, right? So let's talk about community on the road. We talk about this all the time, finding your people, showing up, that sort of thing. But there's a version of this community that we don't talk about because it hurts and because it's hard. It's a hard conversation. But I think that, you know, we need to talk about it because we're learned to RV the podcast, right? So all right. So yeah, tell me if this lands for you. The RV community from the outside has beautiful Instagram reels. You know, everybody looks like they're connected. You show up, you plug in, you pull into a campsite, and people just show up and become your friends.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

But sometimes you feel completely alone. So, what would you say is, you know, how does that look like for you? For me.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

You know, I had a conversation with Teal about this recently online. I am an extroverted introvert. And so sometimes I get these like spurts of I'm gonna get out there and I'm gonna meet people and it's gonna be exciting. And then sometimes I am very hesitant to step outside of my camper to go look for the people to meet. And so there are times when I feel like it is easier for me to meet and connect with people than it is other times. And usually the times when it's easier for me to meet and connect with people are when I have scheduled it to be so. And so what I mean by that is whenever I've scheduled for us to go to a rally or to some sort of community event where communication and camaraderie and interaction is expected of the people who are attending. Whereas when it's like, oh, we're gonna go to, you know, the next campground and be there for three weeks, it can be easy for me to slip into a I just got off work. Do I go outside and try and meet people at the pool? Or do I just hang back and relax because I'm already kind of emotionally tapped out from everything I just gave at work? That's what it looks like for me.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Well, and for sure. And I mean, I think we took it for granted, especially toward the end of the season, because you and I traveled a lot together starting in December and kind of ending through March, where we were together a lot, where we were at the same campground at the same time for most of the season, not for all of it, but for a good portion of it. I think we almost toward the end took it for granted that we would have more days together. And then I think they almost came too fast. But I want to take it back to kind of your first year on the road. So, our first year on the road, we had traveled for five months, and I don't know if you know the story, but Hezekiah was bit by a dog and he was eight years old. I do know this. And so and so when that happened, we were parked right next to, by circumstance at Thousand Trails, another full-time family. We had parked next to them because they had kids' bikes outside, and so we were searching for that community, and it turned out they were the first full-time family we'd ever meet. And we're still friends with them today. But, you know, it was an unlikely situation where we met them, and we're fortunate that we're still friends and we got along. And I actually had to make a pretty snap second decision to see if they'd watch my kids while I took my kid to the hospital. But when your kids are little, I feel like it's easy. And you didn't start out with your kids being little and making it easy, you didn't go in looking for bikes and scooters, you know, nobody hands you that ticket to connect.

SPEAKER_02 4:52

How did you first get started? It was 2023, and our first event right out the gate was a um Hanks rally, happily ever Hanks rally at Margaritaville in Florida. It was a beautiful park and it had just opened recently. And so it was like if we had could have picked a better rally to go to, I don't know that that that was possible because it was like the schmoogiest kind of accommodation with like the friendliest kind of people. There weren't like a lot, there weren't, I don't think there weren't any kids there, our kids' age, because our kids were 18 and 15, getting ready to turn 19 and 16 at the time. That's the rally where we got there. We didn't know what to expect. We just thought this could be fun. Let's go see what it's about. And we went to it and there we went to uh to one of the very first events and we were placed at a table, and several couples were like, you know what? Hang with us. We've got the good campfires, we're the ones who stay out late, we'll show you the ropes. You're new, we're, you know, we're old hat at this. We got you. And they really did. Like they made sure that we showed up for things when we were like, I don't know if, you know, do I want to go talk to strangers at this deal? Like they they would stop by and say, Hey, are you going to Cornhole? The tournament's getting ready to start. Let's go. And they prompted us to get out there and and keep showing up to stuff. And then they'd come over and say, Hey, we're getting ready to do a campfire over at our place. We're gonna make drinks, we're gonna, you know, somebody's pop popcorn, we're all gonna hang out and just, you know, grab the kids. Let's go. And there goes Tasha.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

All right, so technical difficulties, which means this is gonna be an amazing episode. So we actually recorded the first section of this, which we don't know if it actually is going to upload. So we may need to re-record it, which technical difficulties, and there's no transition for you now. So no, actually, we're gonna go to a really hard part of the conversation. It's actually the hardest part of the conversation today. Oh, yay! And so yes, I like hard things. So let's let's get it over with. So um, but I I think it's gonna be important to share this information. So there's something that nobody really talks about when they talk about friendships on the road. It's when they find someone that doesn't like you, and so uh, not a stranger, like not a campground, somebody that you just met there, but somebody you trusted and somebody you thought was in your circle. And so this does happen. Um, and someone whose opinion you with you you actually cared about. And so, you know, Tasha and I have actually lived this scenario, and I want you to be understand that sometimes those things do happen. It affects you out there. So, you know, once you find that you make that friend, you know, what does it feel like to like have all of that suspense built up and then all of a sudden for it not to work, Tasha? What did you feel?

SPEAKER_02 8:06

Um it it felt like a like a balloon having all of the air deflated out of it. Um it it was a lot of sadness. It was a lot of sadness and um a lot of hope and and expectations kind of lost. Um you know it I feel like it's almost a deeper cut because there are fewer um friendships on the road and there are Anna sticks and bricks for me um so far. So um it it was just one of those things where um I really struggled with um feeling like I had gone from being able to trust someone to not being able to trust someone was was really devastating for me and personally.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

Yeah, and I think that I think that the biggest struggle for that is that we carry it with us for a while. Like you carry it to the next potential friendship, and then at some point we've just decided to put it down and move on because that's what you do, or you don't survive this part part of the road. So it didn't stop being hard, it just stopped being the center of attention, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

And so, like, you know, I think that that's important to understand that there are times where seasons change and those friendships change, and it's okay, it's not easy, but you have to kind of accept it and just move on. Um, that's one thing that our first year on the road taught us. Um, that we've tried to live by it ever since is love people where they're at, no matter what. And that doesn't matter who they are. And so even if it's people that are going off the road, you know, we've seen our fair share of that. Tasha, have you had any friends that, you know, you made on the road that have left the road? We have.

SPEAKER_02 10:00

Um and it's it's been sad to see them go, but I think it's different, a little different for us because we've only been on the road for three years. Um, so it's not been um, you know, as long of a time like traveling with them on the road before they've gone off the road. Um, but we have had friends who have decided to go off the road. Now, granted, they had been on the lo on the road long before we had gotten on the road. So, you know, their season had naturally come to an end. But it was it was sad to see them go.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Yeah. Well, I mean, it's it's never an easy transition for the people that they leave on the road because it changes the whole dynamic, the rhythm, you know, and that's what we found is we've had friends that have gone off the road and we'll say, Oh, we'll see you when we come through, blah, blah, blah. And then we go through blah, blah, blah, and we'll let them know like six weeks in advance, hey, we'll be in Southern California this winter. We'd love to see you. And then, like, now it's nine weeks after we've left Southern California, like, hey, are you still in Southern California? And I'm like, yeah, no. And so fitting in each other's timelines again after you go off the road, yeah, I think it's just different on the road. It's different intentionality. You know, you need each other in different ways, and then life gets busy once you get back in a house, and that's okay. You know, lots of our listeners uh are seasonal RVers, and I'm sure that they connect with all their RV friends for that four, five, six months of the year that they're on the road, and then when they're back home, you know, they pick up where they left off the next time they see them. That's how many of us actually do that. Um, but what I said to Joni was, you know, in the interview is, you know, you have to be friendly on purpose. And that's really hard for a lot of people. You know, it's it's not comfortable to do that, you know. Sometimes it's not easy to, you know, put yourself out there. What are some ways? And Tasha, I know you do some extra stuff that puts you out there in different ways, not just in the R V community, but like you cook for lasagna love. And so that's not RV community, but it's wherever you are.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

Yeah. Um, and that that is more of like a uh heart project. I feel like it's more of like a giving um project. And there there are ways to connect with um like the lasagna love cooking community. Um the but with the people that you're giving to, usually it's just a one-time meet, stop, drop. You know, here's here's your lasagna. Uh God bless you, good best. Um but yeah, I mean, there's there are different ways that you can get connected on the road. And um, you know, we we had um the pleasure of being able to um serve with some really great people with Lipert Serv. We did a couple of service projects with them. Um, and that was really incredible. The the families that went on that, um, there are several of those families that we still keep in touch with and some that we've traveled with. Um, and that was just really wonderful to get to serve in the communities that we were traveling in alongside them. Like we helped at a state park, like doing a cleaning project together, you know, and there's nothing like getting in the dirt and you know, picking up trash to really like sponsor to your neighbors. Um, so I mean, there there are so many ways that you can that you can feel connected, even though you're on the road. Um and I I do think that that kind of philanthropic way of giving back is one of those ways. And I think it's a very important way to connect yourself to others.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

And what's neat about Libert Cares, sort of you actually meet other RVers that are doing the same thing. Yeah. And so that that's a special side of that. I'm joined today by Joni Lee, and she is um a podcaster and all sorts of things. So Joni, welcome to the podcast. Thank you. You have been joined by Trial by Fire. Sound problems, my side, your side, Tasha's side. And so, you know, you know what that means though? It means gonna, it's gonna be a great segment. Of course.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

You know, that's kind of about you. I come in with like a bust, like, let's just like, so this is very real to me. This is my life, trial by fire.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

A lot of the things we talk about here on the podcast are like campground reservations or things like that. But today we're just talking about something that I think hits harder than a lot of those things. And we're talking about people finding them, keeping them, losing them, missing them, and figuring out how to do that while your life's changing every few weeks.

SPEAKER_00 14:54

I think what you just said is so true. I'm new to R Ving and I'm a solo RVer, which makes it even harder to meet people. There's so much out there when you research and you're gonna look into getting into RVing. You can find so much stuff on making sure your air conditioning's good and your tires are good, and you have all your stops and your maps and your three for three, you know, all of that. What isn't really out there is really what we are gonna talk about today. There is not a lot out there about how you're leaving really long-lasting friendships and how do you put yourself out there to meet new people and find your community.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

Absolutely. What did you think the community was gonna look like? Because you're a fairly new RV or so you only launched what, like nine months ago now?

SPEAKER_00 15:40

I launched in October 1st on my birthday, is when I actually spent my very first night in the RV by myself. I was like, what am I doing? But yeah, so I I think it's been that that's crazy that it's already been nine months, but or six, I don't even know. I can't do math. But I I just know that uh I think what I expected and reality were way two different things. And I just felt like I expected when you pull into an RV park, everyone's out there with a welcome sign and like can't wait to talk to you and can't wait to meet you. And that is not reality, although it's a lot, there's a lot of people that are like that, but it's kind of the same, like wherever you came from, too. You know, I was blessed with being in a community for 17 years and building a lot of long-lasting relationships. And I kind of felt like that's maybe what I would have on the road, and I had a lot of them, and so that's not what I have on the road. I have it, it looks different. But what happened with me is exactly what you're explaining. I actually came into my second RV stop at the end of December. It's the night before New Year's Eve. So the place that I went had a New Year's Eve party that you had to buy a ticket for and have a reservation for. I knew nothing about it. So I got there and I could see everybody was going somewhere, and I was like, well, where's everybody going? And I was kind of left in the dark. And so it's that initial like feeling like you didn't belong. And that was just on me, right? That's just something eternally, but I think we all have it. It's the phone. Oh, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

Yeah, it is. It is totally normal. I think so many people come on the road expecting community to be to be automatic, like you don't have to work for it. We're a family on the road, and my dynamic's different because now I'm an older mom with teenagers on the road. But the first five months, we didn't meet a single family. It was very lonely to begin with. Sometimes you're in a beautiful campground and you're surrounded by all these rigs, but you can feel completely alone. After that, it became the whole mission stepping into a new place, making sure I instantly felt like I belonged. And I don't know that any of us ever feel like that. I think internally we feel like, oh, they're different than me or whatever. But it was easier back then because I had a toddler. We could go to the playground and meet all the other moms that had toddlers. It definitely has changed over the course of the last 13 years, but I think that you get better at reading people faster.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Yeah, you get better at maybe knowing the campfire conversation, what to say, what not to say. And those people can be the people you're texting, you know, five years from now.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

Yes, and I would agree with that a hundred percent. I feel like I came on the road with a purpose and I wanted I want to meet people because everybody has a story to tell, and I want to help tell their story. That's my podcast. And it's mostly women, um, it's mostly gonna be for women, but you know what? I I did, I came with a mission, and I already wasn't a pretty outgoing person, friendly, you know, I'm very considerate of others, and so I felt like okay, I kind of have that going for me. But you're right in the fact that it wasn't about the quantity of people that I met. I didn't need to meet all 250 people staying in the park. Okay. I just needed to make connections that were my people, right? And that started happening. And it's because I mean, every day I start out with, okay, who is gonna come into my life that I get to bless, or who do who's gonna come into my life that gets to bless me? And so when I start every day out like that, that's what the people started showing up. And I made a connection the day after I got to that RV park with my neighbors, older couple, I knew them all of two minutes. And I knew that um I had a sick dog, and it was like I wanted to come up to the Tampa to the um creators uh uh for the RV show. And I didn't feel comfortable leaving my sick dog at like a daycare that you know I didn't know. And then Mary, my next door neighbor, comes over. She's like, I'll want your dog for the day. And I'm like, I'm gonna be gone all day. Like, this is not just like around the block. And she did. And now Harry and Mary have become great friends. They are my people. And she said it best. She said, When I met you, I had such a deep conversation with you. I felt like I had known you forever. And I think that's when I talk about quantity versus quality, that's what I'm talking about, is finding your people.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

Yeah. And so, I mean, let's talk about something nobody wants to talk about the loneliness on the road. I think that people come on the road, the Instagram story tells them, oh, I'm gonna meet 50 people the first week. But it's not a glamorous kind of solitude. And so social media can actually make it worse. And sometimes it's not like I woke up on a mountain and journaled for an hour, you know, the kind that like hits you at bedtime going, Oh, I didn't talk to anybody today, you know, and you have nobody to really share that with. And so, you know, we we actually just came off of winter with Tasha. And so we're definitely feeling it. We're about three weeks apart right now, four weeks apart. And so, like, we didn't see them every day, even though we were often in the same campground, but we knew they were there, and there's some comfort in that.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

You know, it's it's one of those things that I don't think that you expect. But when you're a grown adult and you've chosen this life, sometimes you feel like the kid that didn't get picked. Well, and that's hard. I think like no matter what very hard.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

And I also think it's right. Oh, yeah, no, age does not matter. You know what? I'm gonna give you a little statistic. ARP did a study in December of 2025. 45% of adults over the age of 40 are lonely. And that's not just doing in the RV world, that's just in general. And so we live in a very lonely society, right? Even when you're parked in a campground with 200 people around you, you know, it can be lonely. But I will tell you, a friend of mine gave me some a valuable piece. She probably doesn't even know she gave it to me, but it stuck with me. She, her boyfriend, who is older, told her that he lived by himself and he said, I have a three rule. I make myself talk to three people every day. And so I have brought that to me that I'm not gonna go to bed every night. Without if I haven't talked to three people, I got to go find that other person to talk to before I go to bed. And so it's making yourself, whether you're in the RV or not, it's kind of having that, you know, you got to put yourself out there too, as well as you want the community to welcome you. Well, you've got to allow them to do that.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

When you're actually in that kind of loneliness, whether you're new on the road or you've been doing it for years, what do you do?

SPEAKER_00 22:24

Well, and I have an I have a different element because I'm totally by myself. So I did have a dog that was traveling with me. She was my companion. I just lost her three weeks ago. So now I'm in a totally different realization because what you said was you connected with other moms because you had kids. I connected with other dog owners because I had a dog. In fact, in some of the places that I've been, I could probably tell you dog's names before I could people's names. That was a connection, right? Immediately. I would go to the dog park. That was a great social connection. I had her. So I'm now going through two different transitions, which is one, transitioning into RV life solo with a dog, and now transitioning into RV life solo. And um it is, it's a totally different feeling, but I'm really trying put myself out there. I always try to think things that I maybe haven't I learned how to play Bunko, never did that before. And that was very exciting. It was, it was like speed dating with people. Like you just like meet somebody for like two seconds and you're like, okay, I gotta say if I like them or do I not like them, but then you're moving to the next table. And uh I had so many people who didn't even know what Bunko was. And I think that's what what we do in what happened in school, it follows you through your whole life. It really does. We do the same habits and the same things that we did back when we were kids. And it's if we don't know something or we don't feel comfortable with something or we fear something, we just don't want to do that. And so when you can put yourself out there and be like, hey, I did it with golf. I loved golf. I'm not good at it by any means. I just like to be out in the to be out in the open air. I like to meet people and I like to swing a club at a little ball, and I'm not good at it. And so they have they had a golf league there, and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna just go and like check it out. And I did met the most wonderful people. But my fear was the first day that I showed up, I showed up with fear because I was like, okay, I'm not good. I just like to do this for fun. So if they're all competitive because I didn't know, right, I'm gonna have an issue. And when I got there, they were the same as me. They just wanted to be out there and have fun. We didn't even keep score half the time, you know? Now then it was my chance then to be the person who would go around and say to women that I had met, hey, do you golf? Hey, do you want to join us? And almost the same fear that I have was the same fear that lied in all of those women.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

And that's true no matter who you are in most cases. You know, our first year on the road, we were just a little under a year. So we were going to our first rally, and there was this family that had kids my kids' age. And so I went to knock on their door and I got this far. And their daughter shows up at the door with these big glasses. You may not knock on my door. My mommy is an introvert and she needs warnings. Okay. And so, you know, Caroline taught me how to be friends with her mom. This seven-year-old schooled me, and her husband is like me, an extra extrovert. Like my friends, and now I can say they're some of my best friends on the road. And our kids are like best friends and all sorts of stuff. But they actually grew up together. They did prom last year together. We'll go hundreds of miles apart and then come back for an event at least once a year, just so the kids have time with each other. And it's it's a 13-year-old friendship. It's it's a long friendship, and you don't find lots of those on the road. But it's, you know, the emotional landscape of this. But how do you make that happen? Like, not everybody that's listening right here is like you and I, Joni. Not everybody's gonna be like, okay, let's go golf, let's go do this. You know, what does that look like for the introverts? So, I mean, I actually had a friend named Becky that went to dinner, like the mom's nights out. We would do those. And, you know, I can carry the conversation at the table, a ladies' night out, whatever that looks like in your world. And my friend Becky would go, I want to always sit next to you. And I'd be like, Why? She goes, Because you're a trained friend of an introvert. I'm like, What? She's like, Well, no, what you'll let introverts talk because you understand that when they start talking, that it's important to let them speak. I said, But that's a learned trait. That's not something I knew naturally. Like I had to learn that. And so taking the time to invest in those friendships and learn those traits is also equally important, you know. So, you know, but like people, not just people that wave at you, right? We're all looking for real friends, right?

SPEAKER_00 26:54

Yes. And that is the true, that really is you hit the nail on the head. How do you, yeah, there's acquaintances, right? And then there's real friends. And so you have to be able to decipher, like, okay, when you meet somebody, I'm just really good at it because I've done it for so long. I can pretty much run through, like within probably a minute of meeting somebody, I have them categorize. Like, they're gonna be over here, or like somebody I really want to get to know, I really want to like engage with them, I want to build this, or they're gonna be over here. And there's somebody I can be nice to, I can be friendly to, hey, join me, but I'm probably not gonna go much more than that. I just have that, and I know a lot of people don't have that ability to do it. And I think you really need to start surfacing through like, you know, what are you looking for? What kind of connection are you looking for? What are you missing in your life? You want that deep, you know, big talk. That's what I call it, because it's not small talk. So when you go to Bunko, that's small talk, right? You're speed dating friends, you are small talking. That is just wham, bam, thank you, bam. You want, I want big talk. I want to sit and have somebody that I can share stuff with and they can share back with me and they can build and enrich my life and help me be a better person. That's what I'm looking for. And it's creating rhythms, right? I think just like your friends like back home, what I think about is I have the same type of friendships back there. There's just some people that I love being with them for a really short amount of time. Then I have others that they're my village, you know? And um, so it is uh it is uh it's a rhythm and it is a season and it's honoring that no matter what. It's leading with love. It is just being kind, like you said, and it is just embracing all of women everywhere. But you know, we're talking about the R V ones, and so come on, ladies, we can do better. We can lift each other up. Let's make this RV community outstanding where other women who maybe are looking to join the RV world are like, I for sure want to do that. Those women are awesome, right?

SPEAKER_01 29:04

So before I let you go, where can our listeners find you, Joni? Because you've got some big stuff happening.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

You've got a podcast starting. Yes, I do. So my podcast is actually starting the day of this podcast, May 11th. Um Joni Lee, it's uh it's on YouTube uh at Joni Lee Official is my YouTube channel. Um, it'll be also out to other um wherever you listen to your podcasts at. Um you can follow me on Facebook, Joni Lee. Um, and I have a uh a group that I'm gonna be sharing like behind the scene things of the podcast on called the Hive. So it's all about connecting people and it's about I'm I'm specifically targeting women because that's my laid on my heart to serve is to serve ladies who have gone through or going through what I've been through and to know that there's on the other side and there are kind people out there, and there are people who want to be your friend, and there are people who lead with love, and that's just what I want to extend. So thank you for having me on.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

All right, so go follow her, step into her world. She is the real deal. And if this conversation did anything for you today, her content's gonna keep doing it. Thanks, Joni, for being part of today and learn to RV the podcast one mile at a time, one friend at a time.

SPEAKER_00 30:22

I like that.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

All right, so you ready? This topic that I came up with yesterday. So, you know, so yesterday, so we we we picked this episode and we had some scheduling problems with Joni initially, and so at first I was like, this episode's never gonna come together. I know. And then I recorded with her yesterday, and I was so excited because it was such a great session. And then Tasha couldn't get on because, well, you know, the glitches and the internet, and it's just something we all face as RVers if we're carrying internet. But as I was driving home yesterday, I had this wild idea. Okay, what if we interviewed 10 to 12 ladies and find out what they felt like happened on the road for them? Because, you know, you have teenagers and I have teenagers. I didn't always have teenagers that started out with us. Joni is a solo, you know, RVer. But what if we had like like people from every like stretch of RV? What if some of them were part-time? Yeah, yeah, and so, you know, what if we built it out like a series where on YouTube we put those interviews and you could come back to this episode, and this episode would be linked to all of them. And so we've never done anything like this before. And you know, I need Tasha to say yes because she does most of the editing, and so but I all of the editing, but but I think it could really work. Uh-huh. Um, can you hear that?

SPEAKER_02 31:59

Is that coming through? The rain and in the fallen.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

Oh, that's exciting.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

So, I mean, I so I put out this Facebook post yesterday, and you may or may not have seen it. I haven't seen it. And I asked a bunch of ladies to, you know, basically if you're a full-time, part-time, whatever, and I've had a crazy response. We've had 10 people respond.

SPEAKER_02 32:21

10 people? Jennifer. I mean, you said that you had had some people come back to you since you had first started talking about this. You didn't say 10 people.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

Yeah, well, as of this morning, 10 people. But I think that friendship on the road is one of those things. So, what I want to do is I want to come up with very specific conversations for each one of those 10 people. Yeah. And I don't know, at this point, maybe you take half of them and I take half of them. Yeah. And we talk to each one of them for like 10 minutes on air and then make it its own episode on YouTube, which is just a standalone episode with these ladies and where they're at. And so tie it all back to this episode on Friendship on the road with Joni. What do you think? I think it's kind of cool. And it's something we've never done. Yeah. And it's a little crazy.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

I got goosebumps, and I don't know if it's because the temperature just changed and it's raining a lot right now, or it's because I'm crazy.

SPEAKER_01 33:23

So, I mean, like, I think it'll land differently, and I think it lands for everybody in different ways. You know, it's more than just friendship is important. It is, you know, but it's a community-specific invitation. It's going to be different for each and every one of these people. And I think if you're out there listening right now and you're a lady out there that feels alone, um, maybe you don't want to admit you feel alone. This might be the episode that breaks through and changes your life in some small way to know that it's not just you. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 33:55

But sometimes the question I I I'm I need to ask a question. And this may be making things bigger, and it may be blowing things up. And so I'm very sorry. But what about the guys? Like their friendship on the road looks so different from ours. Like, are we leaving them out? Do we need to do we need to start reaching out to guys and getting them involved in this too? Not that I want that kind of work, but like, you know, like I think about Frank and Matt and their friendship and how like unique and wonderful it is. And then I just think about like, do other guys have friendships like that on the road, or are they just friends with their dogs? I don't know. I don't know how other guys I don't know. Three every no, that's that's I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 34:51

That's fair. And I think each and every one of us, whether you're a guy or a girl, has shown up to this RV life with some kind of picture perfect of what the community looks like. And I know for me, like, you know, Joni and I talked, and I don't want to give away her portion of it, but she talked about and my mom experiences. So my mom traveled with us for two years, and she would say, Um, now she was at the mercy of where we were going because I was driving her rich. And so it was a little bit different. But so every time she made a connection, she couldn't say, Hey, Jen, I'm gonna see you in three weeks. I'm gonna go with my friends to go to this campground because we've made different plans. So that wasn't her life. But what she did say was, I feel like a third wheel. I'm the solo woman, and it gets weird with the husband and his wife, and she's usually gets strange with me. And so women are just we're interesting creatures, you know. I don't have any issue with you being with Frank having a conversation, it doesn't bother me, but not everybody's like me, right? And likewise, I don't feel like you think that, you know, if I was sitting in your camper having a conversation with Matt and you were like out at the store or whatever, you'd be weirded out by that. But there's people that are, yeah. And so, you know, it's a great question. Maybe the guys do need a standalone conversation. So if you're a guy out there listening and that's something that you'd be interested in doing, shoot an email to learn to rv at gmail.com. That email comes right to me, and so we'll we'll line one up there too. I don't necessarily think this is an episode on the podcast, but I think it could be a great YouTube episode that ties back to this podcast long term. And so I think that we could produce two YouTube videos, and I actually downloaded software just in case Tasha said no. So I am prepared to do a terrible edit on a video um and ask, you know, a few friends for some help. Anyway, yeah, but most of us show up to this life with some kind of idea that Instagram worthy, real, you know, is real. And in between the rallies, you know, there's periods of loneliness that nobody ever talks about. Yeah, you know, and I go to a lot of rallies, but I go to rallies for work, and so a lot of times I'm not going to rallies just to connect. And so sometimes the vendors that are there are the RVers too, and they're looking for connections too. Have you ever taken the time to actually get to know a vendor in your booth? I know Tasha has, because otherwise she and I wouldn't be friends. I mean, it's true, but when you're on the road, you're just scattered in the summer. That's why so many of us are intentional about coming back together in the winter, and maybe you're out there and you don't even know how to do that. That's what we're here for. The let's make a new friend phase. I I think that all too often we try and then we try, and then we try, and then we get rejected enough times that we stop trying. I just have never stopped trying, and that makes me weird because I'm a connector by nature, and the first four years on the road, I was really proud of being a connector. I would introduce like Connie to, you know, Brianna, and they would become fast friends. And I would introduce, you know, Stephanie to Melanie, and they would become fast friends. And I worked myself out of a lot of friendships in the first four. The role of a connector is very lonely. Maybe you don't know that. And so, um, because you know, you see, so I mean, like you introduce Tasha to somebody, and you think, oh, I'm not gonna have a friend once this is all over now. So you stop introducing those friends, you do make two new friends. And so I was guilty of that by year five because I was now trying to find some friendships that were Jennifer friendships to hold close. But then as those friends rolled off the road, where did that leave me? And then there's a whole nother layer, the teenager layer.

SPEAKER_02 38:34

I feel so lucky that I only have one of those now, you know? And he's very low maintenance, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 38:46

But I want to talk to those families that are out there that, you know, either started with teenagers like we did, or maybe had littles when they got on the road. There's one mom that that said she'd do it that actually I've known for many years. And her kids have kind of grown up alongside mine, but not always in the same circles. Like we see each other in the winter sometimes, but not all the time. And so, how do those teenagers run into a stranger at a campground the way they did at five at the playground? It's not the same. And my teenagers are actually less likely to make friends with another teenager unless they know that they're gonna get to see them again and again and again. And so wintering somewhere together often matters, you know, that repetition, that return, and you can't rush it, you know, and you gotta find your people. So, what would you say this series would need to be for our audience to be really good? A consistent, the way that a good friend is.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

Um, I think really giving good tips on how people have made friendships work for them. And then I think just being real stories. I think that's those are the ones that always, for me at least, and from what I've heard from other people. The the series or the the things that we pull together and we put together for our campfire friends, the ones that land are always the ones that are just those real stories. The ones that that are the real moments that hit home, you know? And I think that's I think that's why I got goosebumps.

SPEAKER_01 40:24

Because well, it's something that hits home. Yeah. Well, and I mean I have a good friend that used to say and still does, anybody can fly a plane. What's important is whether or not you can land it. And you know, that's a sales tactic, but it's not just that. It's so many other things because friendship is like that too. You know, you can meet new people, but can you maintain that friendship on the road? You know, we have Facebook groups and private chats, and those are great and wonderful and dangerous all at the same time because you can get real comfortable with the people in those chats and then not let somebody else in. And so, like, you have to be mindful of all of that, that there's somebody else looking for their people. And what does that look like for them? You know, that seat at the campfire, they're looking for something. Joni said something yesterday that was real important. She said, leading with love, you know, that's the whole thing, you know. And I think that that's so, so important. Moving forward and moving wherever we are, you know, there's always going to be somebody that's there. And Joni and I also brought up one other group that we don't talk about much. And nobody from this group has yet applied for this position. So if you're out there and you're listening, if you're in your 60s or 70s and you don't have those friendships, and maybe you listen to podcasts, but you're not real tech savvy, you know, there's ways to get that conversation started, even at a rally. Um, you know, we go to rallies all the time. We'd love to sit down with you and have that one-on-one conversation about what friendship on the road looks like for you. Some of the older ladies that I know travel extensively for part of the year with like Family RB Association, and they meet their meetups are at rallies and they've known each other for 15 or 20 years, but that also leads it to the other side of that problem, which is they've known each other 15 or 20 years. Is there room for a new girl at the table? Like me. Yeah, you know, and I, you know, I may not be their age, but that acceptance and finding that friendship, friendship doesn't have an age. And some of the, you know, most amazing people we've met on the road are people that are 10 years our senior, 20 years our senior, or 10 years our junior, and it's okay. You know, we don't have to be the same age to be friends, it's breaking those barriers.

SPEAKER_02 42:36

Yeah, yeah. I think that's really important because if you are looking for the same type of friend every time, or if you are always looking for a friend who is always like yourself, things are gonna get real boring real fast. You know, there's an opportunity to learn in the variety of life. And when you start limiting yourself to only a certain group of people, only a certain age of people, only a certain class of people, whatever, you close yourself off to so many wonderful opportunities to experience new ideas, new cultures, new everything. I mean, there's so much to learn from each other. And I think that that's part of what we're on this earth to do is to learn from each other's experiences and to grow from them. And you can't grow if you're not interacting with someone who's had a different experience from you. You know, there's nothing to learn there. I do.

SPEAKER_01 43:42

I think that's what make made the Escapees Club so such a wonderful club to have in this space is that there was a place for families, that there was a place for solo RVers, that there was a place for an itty bitty tiny van, but then there was a place for a tiffin. I don't know. It's changing, but I'm hoping it's still. Still stays the same. I hope that culture still remains there. But at the same time, if it doesn't, let's build that community. Like that's how I see it. You know, the ladies' chick chat. So Learn to RB has a ladies' chick chat. It's like 200 members. It's not big. But you can join that for free. And the idea is it gives you a safe place to ask all those questions. But we don't want the community to be some kind of closed club with a waiting list. You know, we don't want you to have to have an entry ticket to get to the campfire. Like that's just silly. There's always room for one more chair and pull the seats back so the circle gets bigger. You know, our first year on the road taught us something we never expected, something that we try to live by year after year. Love people where they're at, no matter what. You know, not who you want them to be, but for who they are. Not where they were last season, where they are right now. Maybe they're going through a hard season. I came from a long years of youth ministry. And um, my friend Jim, I helped him set up the room every every night that we did youth. And so he had this big kitty pool and he said, Jen, go fill this thing with cold oatmeal. He had like, I don't know, six or seven packages of cold oatmeal and water pitchers sitting there. He said it was about two hours before youth. And I said, sure, what are we doing? He goes, Well, I can't tell you yet. Okay, so you know, I do as I'm told and I go fill this thing with water to and it's gross. I mean, it's just plain oatmeal, it's wet, it's sticky. During the service, he actually called the kids up that were going through some hard stuff. And he said, I want you to take your shoes off and walk through this tub of oatmeal. And so the kids did. And during the first couple of them, um, nobody walked with them. And one of my girls went up. And so I walked through it with her. Not around it, but through it. I took my shoes off. I went through it with her. What if we as a community, as women, could lift each other up that way and just go through it together instead of like walking on the outside of the pool keeping our feet clean? And so, yeah, we had to clean up afterwards, but what does that look like? You know, that's the whole thing. I don't know. It's a lot and it's quite an episode to take on community and feelings because there are feelings with all of it. Feelings get hurt if you don't get invited to the campfire, if you don't get invited to the potluck, if somebody said something about you and you heard about it. Um but sometimes you can just react in love. My friend Kimberly was the original owner of full-time families, and she used to say, kill them with kindness. And um the first year she said, When somebody's mean to you, go make them some cookies. And it's a crazy idea. Like, go be kind to people that are just mean to you. Yeah, go be kind to people that are just mean to you. Like, what if we could do that in this community? Can you imagine what this would be like if we could or did? Right. It'd be a beautiful place, and everybody would be an RP. All right. Well, the series is coming, and I am so thankful for Tasha for showing up today and working her way through and muscling through all of the internet connection problems um and reacting the way that only Tasha can react because Tasha's a very unique person. Um, and I'm just so thankful she's the person across from me on this show. If you don't have a friend like her, you need one, you do. Um, and I'll share. It's okay. Um, so the series is coming. Some women, some conversations. Watch for that on YouTube. Um, I don't know when it'll be. If you're a guy out there and you're interested in doing it too, I am all for that. I think it's so important. Um, if you want the full uncut version with Joni, we're gonna have to cut some of it up for this episode because, well, to be really honest with you, it's just gonna be way too long. And so you're gonna have to catch us on uh the Patreon for our campfire crew for that one. So you'll have to catch the link in the show notes for that. And the thing about Patreon is it's free for the first seven days. So if you're just starting to listen to Learn to RV, that's a great tip for you. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 48:00

And I always put it in the show notes. It's always in the show notes and it's always on the podcast blog. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 48:07

And if this episode found you at the right moment or made you cry, share it, drop a review, tell us your road friendship story in our Facebook community. There's lots of places for you. And if you're open to it, let us read it around our campfire. We do have a campfire story, um, one coming up where we'd love to feature those. You know, they're real, they're raw, they're hard. But, you know, learn to review the podcast. Tasha and I aren't afraid to take on a few hard things.

SPEAKER_02 48:33

We're good at it.

SPEAKER_01 48:34

I think we have we have problems. I think so. And thanks for showing up today. We appreciate it. Don't forget to like, subscribe, follow the comments, and go to the bottom of the website and leave us a voice note. It's the little microphone microphone in the room. It would be so fun to hear your voices coming through just to talk to us. We'd appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02 48:55

We'll see you guys in our next vampire.